Growing where I'm planted

I had one of those days where I woke up and looked around and had no idea what the heck I was doing with my life. Everything I owned seem foreign and unlike me. I felt purposeless and out of place.
Some of this had to to with the fact that I didn't work today. I usually get these feelings when I don't have anything planned for the day. I'm so used to being busy and having my days jam packed, that when they're not like that I tend to get restless. And not just restless for the day... restless about my life in general. It also had to do with the fact that my graduating class had their commencement ceremony today. And though I graduated in December, I had the option of 'walking' with the June graduates. I chose not to. At the time I figured I'd want to be as far away as possible from SOU, college, and it's responsibilities in general. But knowing that my peers were celebrating the next step in their life today, and I was just celebrating the fact that it was Saturday felt... weird. I had celebrated already in December, my wonderful sister threw me a dinner/get together and took me to New York. She's awesome like that. :) But today that felt like so long ago. And today I woke up realizing these things about myself:

- As much as I love my house, it's tiny. And when it gets even remotely cluttered, I get stressed at the lack of space.

- I love my job, and I'm blessed to work where I do and with the girls I work with. But it is no way related to my desired Public Health/ Social Work field.

- I'm not a mother. Probably won't be for a while. Possibly can't be one ever.

- I haven't spent a good amount of time being a WIFE. Doing the things I believe a wife should do.

So, I did what any person with a few hours to kill and internet access would do. I started to browse. I browsed job ads in Medford, Seattle, and in Portland. I pretended for a few minutes that it was feasible to get up and move somewhere else. Somewhere with better job opportunities. Somewhere with a bigger house. Somewhere where I don't have to watch every person I know get pregnant before me, simply because I wouldn't know anyone in a new town.
And then I laughed, because I could never get Ryan to leave. He loves his band, he has a good job, and he's happy in Medford. And I realized, I am to. I didn't need a change of scenery, I needed a change of attitude. And while I cannot, at this moment, change all of the issues on my 'list' I CAN change the bit about being a better wife. I SHOULD change that part.

So I had a very 'wifely' day. I went to Farmers Market and bought some fresh veggies for dinner and  the most amazing strawberries I've ever eaten. I went to Freddy's and bought ground buffalo and decided to make buffalo burgers for dinner. I bought myself a bouquet of sunflowers, because flowers ALWAYS make me feel better. I came home, and cleaned and prepared dinner before Ryan gets home from work. And while I was out and about doing these things something kind weird happened. People talked to me at the grocery store. Like, conversations. At the checkout. One lady asked me about what I was making with the ingredients I had bought, the man behind me starting talking about buffalo recipes, and the checker added a few comments about cooking. Something about connecting with these strangers gave me peace. I can't explain it, but something in that moment said "You're exactly where you should be." I realize this sounds cheesy, I do. But it's true. And it made me realize that I should be growing where I'm planted. I should be doing the best I can with what I've got. Because when I really get down to it. I've got alot.

Aloha, Mahalo, and everything in between!

Have you ever seen that Friends episode where the whole gang goes to Barbados to listen to Ross give a Palentology speech? No one goes for the speech, they all go because, well, duh, it's in Barbados. But everytime they try to go outside and enjoy the tropical paradise, they open the curtains and there is a crazy wind/lighting/thunderstorm going on?? Uh, that perfectly describes our Hawaii vacation.

Don't get me wrong, it was still amazing, and I'd go back in a heartbeat (we're actually thinking Maui next year for our 5 year anniversary). But it was soooo not the tropical vacation (read: being lazy on the beach and turning into a brown crispie) that I was looking forward to. But, Kauai was beautttiiffull! So lush and green and rugged and amazingly.... nice. I guess it's so green from all the rain, eh?

All that said, it was quite the adventure. Ryan's never really traveled, and NYC with Carlie was about the most traveling I'd done pretty much my whole life, so I was a little nervous to see how we'd do. And the answer is... pretty well, actually! We snorkeled and saw sea turtles (which was one of my biggest 'hope to's for the trip), I layed by the pool when it was nice and read almost 2 books while I was there.

We also became slligghttlllyy obsessed with the coffee the maid service was bringing to our room every day, so we decided to track it down and see if we could bring a pound or two home to enjoy here. It's called Kauai Coffee, and, being the "coffee snob" that everyone working as a barista at some point becomes, I figured we should try and find it if I liked it. ;) We found the address on a pamphlet in the hotel, typed it into our GPS, and drove the 20 or so minutes to what we thought was the Vistor Center. No, no.... NOT the Visitor Center. The address was for the farm. Like, where the coffee beans grow. Like, on a dirt road. Like, a dirt road in the middle of NOWHERE. Have I mentioned yet that we were driving our rented Ford Focus? And that I had to drive because of a fluke with our credit card? And that it decided the moment we turned onto the dirt road to start raining "Lost"-style. As in a sudden and torrential down pour that invoked images of Kate and Jack in the forest just blinking at each other yelling about whether to return or the beaches or caves, beaches or caves!??? Ya follow me?? This happened twice. Our poor lil rental. But we made it and bought some delicious decaf and an awesome, oversize souvenier mug. Love it.

The second time was on the way to a beach on the West Shore called Polihale. We heard from everyone "Ohh, it's always sunny on the west shore. You want sun? Go to Polihale, go to Polihale." Yeah, not so much. It was beeaauutiful on the drive TO Polihale. This is a pic I took on the way there.

Gorgeous, right??

 Mind you, it took us 30 mins to drive from our hotel to the dirt road leading to the beach and another 40 minutes on the dirt road because it was so potholed and muddy from the previous day's rain. As soon as we stepped on that amazing, white sandy beach it started to POUR. It looked more like this:

I forced Ryan to drive on the way back because I am not a fan of driving around in the mud. Rental agreement be damned. And, I'm not gonna lie to you. I cried. A lot. A little. This was supposed to be our last chance to get to the beaches and hang out because we were leaving the next morning. I had yet to lay on the beach for more than 10 minutes. Total. sigh.

BUT. Rain and other minor traumas aside, it was mostly great. We laughed, had fun, enjoyed each other's company, ate waayyy to much Kahlua Pork at a Luau, drank the best Pina Colada I've ever had, and spent some good quality quiet time with my husband. (Which, if you know my husband is not hard to come by, but always enjoyable.)

Probably one of my favorrite things was going to Waimea Canyon. Its nicknamed the "Grand Canyon of the Pacific" can you tell why??

Oh, and one last word... if you've never been to Kauai, go for the chickens. Just the chickens. They were hilarious and I'm pretty sure they were Ryan's favorite part. At least according to the sheer volume of pictures he took of them. ;)

Aloha for now!! :)